Conquering the fear of buying selling and moving house

Do you tremble with fear, just thinking about buying, selling and moving house? You’re not alone; most people go through this upheaval under a lot of stress. But much of it can be prevented. Let’s look at some tried and tested ways of dealing with this daunting situation.

Where does this fear come from?

The process of buying, selling and moving house is, without doubt, a huge undertaking in anybody’s life. Why is this experience such an effort and so intimidating?

Let me explain.

There are three combined factors that might cause you to go into a state of panic when thinking about moving to another house. They are:

• the emotional issues
• the financial issues
• the practical issues

The greatest of these is emotion.

There are many conscious and unconscious connections between you and the house you live in. It is that special space where you live out the most personal part of your life. It is your sanctuary from that world “out there”, the place you return to when you need to regroup and recharge before carrying on with the challenges that life has for you.

Your house is your “nest”, that particular space where you have the freedom to express yourself. It is the arena within which you define yourself and where you make your stand. It is the centre point of your life and your anchor in the world.

The “Why?” factor

Exchanging what you know for what you don’t know and being separated from what you have become accustomed to can unsettle your emotions. You might feel as if you won’t “belong” anywhere if you cut your ties with the place you’re living in now.

But even if you’re relatively at ease with making a change, the uncertainty about whether you really should move, or stay put, places a big load on your emotions.

You’re probably saying to yourself: “How do I know whether it’s the right thing to do – or the wrong thing?”; “Is this the right time to do it – or should I wait?”; “Would the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?”; “Would it all be worthwhile?”; “How can I be sure it’s not a mistake?”

The “Dollar” factor

The financial aspect also contributes to the fear of moving. For most people, the investment in a house is far and away their biggest monetary commitment. Whenever you are dealing with a large amount of your money you feel very vulnerable and protective. This is natural.

But because it isn’t every day that you’re required to make decisions that could affect such a large part of your financial position, it’s hard to prevent a profound anxiety building up within you. And because you don’t buy and sell houses every day, you will feel exposed by having your biggest financial asset out there at risk in the market.

Questions go through your mind like: “Will I get a good price for my house?”; “What will I be left with after all the selling costs are deducted?”; “Will I get enough back to let me carry out my hopes for my next home?”

The “How” factor

The third factor centres on the practical and logistical elements involved in the whole process of buying, selling and moving house.

Once again, because you don’t make a move every second day, you don’t know much about the various things that go into it. Certainly, there are the obvious ones, but there are many that aren’t so obvious. Suddenly you’re forced to learn about it all, usually from the bottom up. Not only do you have to learn what all the various things are, but you have to start doing them immediately – never really knowing if you’re going about it in the right way or not!

The questions that come to mind are: “Will I be taking the right steps?”; “How do I organise everything?”; “Will I overlook anything?”; “How am I going to cope with all these practical issues at the same time?”

The 7 key principles for success

This combination of emotional, financial and practical concerns merge to produce what seems like an overwhelming obstacle. A time then comes when you can no longer avoid the necessity of moving, because your circumstances require it, and you’re forced to face the situation feeling hopelessly at a disadvantage.

The way to overcome the fear and put yourself in a position to get through the experience without fuss – and to achieve a good outcome – lies in employing the following seven key principles. These apply whenever you have a big project to tackle – and moving is one of the biggest projects you’ll face!

Principle No. 1: Start well in advance

By starting well in advance of the time you want to achieve your goal, you are setting yourself up for success. The more lead-time you give yourself, the less likely you’ll be to come under pressure, so you’ll be able to do everything at your best. The confidence of being in a more prepared and positive frame of mind helps to extinguish fear.

Principle No. 2: Break the work up into small pieces or tasks

Trying to take on too many tasks at the same time builds up stress very quickly. Breaking a big job up into small tasks helps you to concentrate your effort more easily – and then you’ll be working at your best.

Principle No. 3: Arrange the tasks into a logical sequence

There needs to be a sensible and natural order in which your tasks are done, where each one builds on the results of the previous one. Doing everything in the right order will get you to your goal a lot more quickly than taking random action.

Principle No. 4: Spread the tasks out over time

When you spread the sequence of tasks over as much time as you can possibly allow, you reduce the pressure on yourself dramatically. Be realistic about how long everything is going to take and allow a good safety margin within the times used for your calculations. Running out of time is one of the quickest ways to stress yourself out.

Principle No. 5: Write everything down

This is the only way you can keep track of the things you’ve already done and everything you still have to do. Most importantly, keep all your notes and information in one place – such as a single A4 binder – so that you can easily find them any time you need to work on them. Having everything in front of you and in one place gives you a wonderful feeling of confidence and control.

Principle No. 6: Map everything out on a calendar

This way, you can see how it can all work out in practice, taking into account all the other things that are going on in your life at the same time. This brings everything into perspective and you can begin to see the “big picture” much more clearly. You can also share it with other people involved so that everyone is on the same track.

Principle No. 7: Knowledge is power

Educate yourself about the tasks you don’t know much about. What you don’t know can hurt you. Once you’ve established what all the steps in the process are, try to learn as much as possible about each of them so that you can understand them as fully as possible. In this way, you’ll feel really confident about what you’re doing.

A sure way to quiet and confident success

When you’ve done the things discussed above, you will have a plan in place that will give you confidence in what you’re doing, take away your fears, and give you the peace of mind that will allow you to actually enjoy the challenge. From such a position you stand the best chance of achieving an excellent outcome.